(and so much like you)

06/05/2006

Dear Mom,

I know I should have written this letter a long time ago, but if there is anything I turned out good at, it’s procrastinating. I just hope that somewhere on some level you know that I loved you very much. That I didn’t move away from you and my brothers because I didn’t love you or need you, in fact it was the opposite, I loved you too much. I was very mad at you for a long long time for a lot of the choices you made, and now I’m wishing that I maybe shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I wanted better for you, and your life, because I loved you so very very much. I moved so far away, but I still thought of you all of the time, I grew up and realized that life was much much harder than I ever imagined, that some of my teenage judgments were harsh. I know that you did the best you could with what you had, and I know that any mistakes you made were out of trying to fill a lonely sad place in your heart. I feel it too, and now, when it’s too late, I feel so much compassion, and forgiveness towards you. I hope somewhere, somehow, you know it. I hope that all of your sadness is gone now, and I hope I somehow find a way to go on, and not give into mine, and make you proud. There was never a day where I didn’t love you or think about you. I hope you know that. I thank you so much for my life, for the small amount of time we had together, and I forgive you for everything. I hope you forgive me too.

with every breath
your daughter (and so much like you)
charlene

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