maybe if you had a bike

01.22.2006

Dear Mr. Yoga Instructor Man,
Stop putting your hands all over me when you ‘adjust’ me. I never let men in bicycle shorts touch me, I’m sorry. It’s just a policy I have.
And stop telling me I should do Kegel exercises in class. The state of my PC muscles is of no concern to you, though I appreciate your concern for their well-being. And yes, when you told me to do it by suggesting I flex my ‘star’ it provoked a horror within me that will probably not leave very quickly. If this bullshit does not end I shall never take another class with you again, even though in all other respects you are a fantastic teacher.
Just because some of the girls in class fawn over you doesn’t mean we all do. In fact, I find you chillingly repulsive.
Sincerely,
The girl with the blue mat who started about three weeks ago.

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One Response to “maybe if you had a bike”

  1. Seraphine Says:

    OHHH – *That* girl with the blue mat!

    I love your blog. Your letters are a great source of amusement and creativity. /hugs

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