too good for him, i’d bet

11/27/2006

dear j..
its been a long time. you still show up sometimes in my dreams, other than that i don’t think about you much. i guess being alone right now kind of makes my mind wander and i’ve been thinkin of you more the last couple days. i wonder how you are and if things are working out for you. from what i hear, you’re not sure where you’re gonna end up still. i still think about what would have happened to us if we stayed together. i’m not exactly happy right now, but im a lot better than before in most ways. like… for instance. i don’t cry everyday wondering if i’ll ever talk to you again… i kinda got over that after you harrased me for that money for days on end. and then i realized what a dickwad you’ve become. and i realized i don’t need you… but some part of me still remembers how i felt before… some part of me is still that guy that fell in love with the guy you were a year ago. i remember it clearly… how we kissed the first time… i think it was a year ago this sunday. man time flies. i wish we could talk normally still. i wish we could be friends and i wish you weren’t such a jerk to me.. and i know im far from perfect and i regret so much. it was just a bad situation. i wish we could turn it around. i really do wish you the best in life. maybe one day we can talk again.

john

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